What do bricks, brides and and best friends have in common?

I know I apologize every time for the infrequency of my blogs. . .but I am not apologizing this time, lol! I get in these moods where I just have to write to be heard-and whether they happen frequently or rarely- I’ve learned I just can’t force it! So pray God will get me in the mood to blog more often, haha!

Ok, so honestly, being in Malaysia has had its moments of loneliness. God has blessed me with an outstanding church community and I am forever thankful for the brothers and sisters God has placed in my life, but the rigorous nature of my internship schedule sometimes keeps me out of touch. I really miss being surrounded by community. It’s quite ironic, actually; I used to be very much into independence over the whole interdependence thing. Vulnerability was about as appetizing as dragging my heart over sharp rocks, and needing other people scared me. God definitely broke me of that mentality. . just to bring me into a season that lacked the very thing I learned to appreciate? Oh the wondrous ways Jesus works, I am forever trying to fathom His ways :) Today was a “cry out to God” kind of day and nothing was really getting through. I felt so alone, and I was questioning God. Why do I feel so alone if I know you are all around me and inside me??? Isn’t God all I need? The answer of course, is yes! God is all I need, and I could write a whole other blog about what God is teaching me about being satisfied in Him alone. BUT we are the body of Christ, the bride, His house built on the cornerstone of Christ Jesus. A building cannot consist of one cornerstone and one brick; a hand connected to a head is not a body, or a very beautiful bride. A building consists of bricks leaning against other bricks; a body is only functional in relation to its entirety. So as I was crying out to God, I received an email from a dear friend. She poured her heart out to me, told me how much she valued my input her life, and reminded me of the place I held in her life as a sister and friend. I felt this sense of joy come over me. I am not saying I just need to be needed- I am in ministry 24/7 it seems- I sometimes want to NOT be needed! But she was asking me to join her journey, to share her burden. The connection was such a blessing!

I believe truth is constantly held in tension, it is frequently both/and not either/or. There is a tension here as well. God is the only one that satisfies; He is the only true source of life. Whenever I seek life in anything but him, I will find myself disappointed, disillusioned and unsatisfied. But, God has created us for community, to join together united in the Spirit sharing one another’s burdens. Colossians has become my favorite book recently (my favorite book is subject to change by the day) and I am attempting to memorize all of it. I just read chapter 1 in The Message version, just to switch things up a bit, and this portion leapt at me from the page. . .eerrr, computer screen: “And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body.” We are meant to be together, and Christ himself does the holding. We are complete in Christ but united by Him as well. We cannot stand alone; we must lean on one another, share one another’s burdens and function interdependently as the bride of Christ.

I also believe we, as the interdependent bride, this building with Christ as the supporting cornerstone, have a task at hand, a purpose greater than ourselves. Our purpose is to complete the building, to unite the bride. The bride of Christ is not yet finished- many have yet to hear of their dynamic and important role in the body of Christ. Many have yet to hear of the hope of wholeness found in living with Christ as the cornerstone. Many are lost and hurting, scarred and bleeding from what they thought would satisfy, but instead left them hopeless and empty. We have the opportunity to share with them the joy of community, the joy of unity with the Spirit, and the joy of being an irreplaceable portion of the bride of Christ.

“The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’”

Don't hold back!

I am a horrible blogger and a avid journal-er, makes very little sense if I do say so myself!

So, for all of you who have given up on my blog, please reconsider, because I am combining my journal and my blog.

Now. Don't think you all (ya'll for all my dearly missed southerners) are going to be privy to everything I journal. Honestly, you'd probably either suffer immense boredom, or worry for my mental well being-dependent on the day. I am just going to attempt to regularly include you in my life by posting different journal entries through out the week...well, at least once I week. I hope. I really want my family (spiritual and physical) to journey with me, maybe this will work better than previous attempts!

So here is a little something from today-August 28, 2010

I was created for beauty;
I was created to create.
I was created to reflect the infinite;
I was birthed to shine with radiance.

The depths of my soul groan with desire-
My heart of hearts aches for intimacy.

Pressure building,
a quickened awakening,
A burning-unquenchable,
a yearning-irrepressible;
I must have You.

I was made with more than mediocrity in mind.
I was destined by the Limitless,
and now driven by the Omnipotent.

A fire burning,
a desire yearning,
a pressure building,
a passion stirring-
I must have You.

Because I was created for beauty;
I was created to create.
I was created to reflect the infinite;
I was birthed to shine with radiance.

Comforts aside,
the status quo left behind.
The distractions cannot stop what has captured my mind.
I must have You.

For, "Who can know the LORD's thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?" But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.
1 Corinthians 2:16

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.
Psalms 45:11

But if I say, “I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,”
His word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.
Jeremiah 20:9

As God's partners, we beg you not to accept this marvelous gift of God's kindness and then ignore it.
2 Corinthians 6:1

Its Just the Beginning...

I am in the middle of a melting pot-I walk down the street, smell the incense burning to the Chinese man’s ancestors, see a Hindu woman with a red dot on her forehead, and hear them Muslim call to prayer.

Month one here in SE Asia has already been an adventure and a half! God has really used my time here not just to explore and learn about different cultures, but to deepen my vision and passion for those who are lost and hurting in the world, those who are widowed and orphaned all around the world– those who are physically and/or spiritually lacking a father and husband.

I have been going out on prayer walks with a woman here who is starting a ministry for trafficked and battered women. I have met several women who have no idea the depth of their value and worth in God’s eyes. These girls are used to people using them, so they aren’t the most open people, and are wary of going past surface level. One woman’s name means “Princess.” “Sarah” also means princess, and God has used this to remind me of my worth, value, and identity in Him. She actually gave me her phone number, and I am excited that I have the opportunity to show her the same truth Jesus has shown me as His Princess. I’ll keep you updated on this lost daughter of the King and please keep her in your prayers!
Also, I am traveling to Cambodia from August to February. I will be serving with a church in remote villages. I have literally no idea what to expect, but I am excited to see what the Lord will do! Thank you so much for the prayers, finances, encouragement and blessing you all have provided! You are helping me carry out my passion to impact a world in desperate need of Jesus’ love, life and truth!
Prayer points:
~ability to keep intimacy with Jesus as my priority
~Continued financial provision, specifically for my upcoming Cambodia, I need about $1000 for my visa and flight ticket on top of regular monthly support
~Divine appointments all over SE Asia, and discernment on how to reach the unreached


Thank you all so much! If you leave me your email address, I will be able to email you pictures as well! For now check out my Facebook!

And stay tuned, the best is yet to come!

I'm a part of something beautiful...

So, I have officially been out of the States since Wednesday, starting with an overnight layover in Korea. Seriously, one night felt like one glorious week as Gina (my travel buddy) and I romped around Seoul.
I already have a plethora of stories and such, but I kinda just want to use this blog as an opportunity to tell you what God has put on my heart.

A year or so ago, when I traveled to Honduras, I experienced what I saw to be a bit of heaven on earth. At the church in Sambo Creek, I felt as though I had a glimpse into what worship in heaven will be like- every tribe, every nation and even every age and style of worship joined together in one accord to the King of kings and the Lord of lords!
I got another sense while in church today. This church is another piece of the bride of Christ. The bride of Christ is so diversely and uniquely unified. All I could think about is that I have the privilege to be a part of something beautiful, but as the service continued I realized something even more beautiful-our beauty is merely a reflection of Christ's! We as the body of Christ are each individually part of something beautiful. But we have an even greater purpose-to complete that which reflects Christ's beauty. I recently read the book Unveiled at Last which speaks about a two-fold Christianity. I believe Psalms 67 describes it best,

"God be gracious to us and bless us, And cause His face to shine upon us— That Your way may be known on the earth, Your salvation among all nations."

God's beauty is shining on His bride, but there is a far greater purpose; to share that beauty, to share His name on the Earth, to further and complete His bride!

Maybe its the Evangelist in me, or maybe just the Christian in general; the glorious beauty of God's blessing and the shining of His face is far to marvelous to keep to yourself.

An Inauguration by Lions, Plants, and Fruit...

Ok, I was talking to my mother the other day, and she says, "I see you are a blogger now."
I reply, "No, I'm pretty sure there's some blogger code, and you have to post more than one blog to be an actual 'blogger.' "
So here goes my "blogger inauguration"...
I've been reading In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson (its required by GMT for my Malaysia Internship), and the first chapter shook my world a little bit. Let me share a portion with you,
"I think the church has fixated on sins of commission for far too long. We have a long list of don'ts. Think of it as holiness by subtraction. We think of holiness as a byproduct of subtracting something that shouldn't be there. And holiness certainly involves subtraction. But I think God is more concerned about sins of omission-those things we could have and should have done. Its holiness by multiplication. Goodness is not the absence of badness. You can do nothing wrong and still do nothing right."
That's a little earth-shattering, eh? Mark Batterson goes on to explain a far more spiritual than the norm definition of the aphorism, "No guts, no glory." If we are not willing to step up and out of our personal comfort zone, our safety net; if we are unwilling to act in faith, gutsy/gut-wrenching faith, we are, in actuality, robbing God of His rightful glory. James 4:17 states, "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."

I don't know about you, but all of this makes me a tad bit uncomfortable.

Ok, that was part one, part two is a little more personal; I'm actually just going to write out of a journal entry. God laid this on my heart after I got back from LA.

"My responsibility right now is to disciple, which I think is the equivalent to 'Apollos watered' in 1 Corinthians. Some plant seed, some water seed-all of us have different purposes. I think I am a better planter than water-er. I don't necessarily have that shepherding heart like Pastor Stephen, that fervency to disciple like PD, but I do know the great importance of discipling...I do desire to spark something-to birth desire, to open eyes to the truth, to open hearts to love, to bring souls to life-not at all by my strength but by the Lord's. So I think maybe I am more of a planter that a water-er...but right now, I am in a season of watering, of discipling. That is my current responsibility, thus my current 'holy calling.' That means I need to be discipling with my whole heart. So, be it on the street, at work, or in a store talking with a complete stranger where I am more naturally passionate or be it with my AC [small group] girls, my apartment girls, girl's Sunday school, or in class-may I be sensitive to the Spirit's calling, to the Father's voice. May I have divine appointments even with those in SCSL; may I be filled with expectancy in the season I am in currently."
Basically I felt like God was stressing the importance of bearing fruit in season and out of season, of living with a level of expectancy, an intensity of passion, and a sense of urgency no matter the season or time. I may have discovered a hidden passion for street evangelism ("evangelism" in the sense of just being a vessel of God's love to whoever "happens" to cross your path); but I can't jip the people God has placed in my life to disciple just because I don't feel a certain way.
And that is why its all about Him and His power, strength and righteousness-His kingdom.

Wherever he puts me, in whatever position, I just want to work for His glory, and His kingdom's cause.

Sorry this one is so long, I have a goal to keep my posts short-ish; obviously I'm not being very successful!

Have a wonderful first day of Spring!

I have caved...

I feel as though creating a blog is akin to buying a bubble dress. They really aren't the most flattering thing in the world, but everyone has one and seems to pull it off, so you get one too. I can't say that I own any sort of bubble-esque clothing, but I here by am starting my very own blog. I'm not quite sure what my definite purpose is in establishing this, but I am hoping that purpose will evolve as time passes. I do know that the last 2 years of my life have sequentially gotten better, and God has been moving in greater, fuller and more incredible ways each and every day. I have received revelation, inspiration, confirmation, confrontation, restoration, and every other God-given "action or condition" ("action or condition" is what the suffix "-ion" means, haha) you could possibly think 0f as I seek to serve Him with all I say and do.
I guess you could say that I hope this blog inspires you to allow God to do the same in your life in whatever capacity He desires.
I returned from working with the Dream Center in LA yesterday, and what I learned from the trip is partially embodied in a story told by the guest speaker, Pastor Bill Cornelius, at Angelus Temple Thursday night. God had called him to pray for 100 hours straight. The first 10 hours were spent asking God to do something big; the next 90 hours were spent under the realization that God was and is doing something bigger than he could ever imagine and all he could do is ask God to allow him to be a part.
That's basically where I am right now, I am realizing how much bigger God, His plan, and His bride is each and every day, and I just want to be a part of it.
I am from Kalamazoo, MI, I live in Columbia, SC, I just got back from LA, and everywhere I go there is such a vast need for love, for life and for truth. My mission is to follow God's voice with radical obedience as I seek to be a vessel of His life,His love and His truth in whatever corner of the world I am placed. All of this is only possible with the infilling, anointing and power of the Holy Spirit.
Francis Chan said in His book Forgotten God, "I don't believe God wants me (or and of His children) to live in a way that makes sense from the world's perspective, a way I know I can 'manage.' I believe He is calling me-and all of us-to depend on Him for living in a way that cannot be mimicked or forged."
Mother Teresa (who is basically one of my role models, as cliche as that may sound) said, "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world."
This life is the life I desire to live. This blog is hopefully going to be a tool for you who read it (whether its 1 person or 1000) to live a life that gives hope to a needy world and praise to a more than deserving God.

I think that's all I have for tonight. I hope really hope I don't sound too cliche or cheezy as I write this blog, but I guess that's just something I'll have to risk! Vulnerability just has such a high price sometimes, sheesh!

Good night, all and thank you for listening:)